the BIKE

Well, I caved. I finally let my wonderful little hubby buy a motorcycle.
In the process, I bought one as well.
Yeah, I am ashamed to admit it... I feel badass! lol. I think I look badass on it too - well until my story.
So, here's my latest bike story.
(actually 2 of them)
Last, last Sunday I decided I wanted to be a bigger badass than usual and ride Mikey's bike instead of my own because his is bigger and much faster.
I was backing out of the driveway (mistake #1)
Showing off for the neighbor kids who just told me I look so cool on the motorcycle (mistake #2)
Well, as I am approaching the end of the driveway to meet the street, I find myself in trouble.
I didn't have enough momentum to get over the little hump of the gutter into the street.
So, one tire was resting on the street, the other tire was resting on the driveway.
That only leaves one place for my feet. Nope, not on the ground. Dangling in the empty space of the gutter not able to touch ground.
That one second felt like slow motion.
The dangling of the feet, the "oh shit" thought (you know what I'm talking about),
and then the inevitable. The tipping over.
His bike fell with half of me under it.
Of course this was the day all the neighbors were out doing their yard work, all the neighbor kids in my driveway watching, and of course my pissed off husband running to the street to check on his bike. Yep, his stupid bike!
I picked it up off me and checked it for scratches (I should have kicked it).
None to see, so he turns to me and asks if I am ok. Of course I didn't answer. I told him he wasn't allowed to ask me that since he was more worried about his bike. (I was being a bitchy wife/woman)
The next day my ankle is as big as a grapefruit and black.
I tore my Achilles tendon. Ouch.

So, for the week I recover with a Dr's note for work to wear flip-flops for a couple of days.
Not too pretty with my nice dress pants.
(moving on...)

I decided I needed to get back into the saddle again. This last Sunday (Pop's day) I took my bike out for a ride and tested out the ankle.
Everything good. Mikey went riding with me. We needed to get gas to we go to Tesoro on
7200 W and 3500 S (if you were there that day at that time, please don't tell me. Spare me the humiliation).
I fill up fine and move up to let Mike fill his bike up.
I go to get off my bike, and realize that I forgot to put my kickstand down. So, the bike just kept going.
Yeah, it fell on me. Hurt my foot again.
You would think that is the worst of it wouldn't you???
It's not. Both legs are actually pinned under it this time because I was getting off it when it fell.
When it fell on my legs, it caught my pants, and pulled them down almost to the bottom of my butt (yep, panties too).
My ass crack was getting a breeze. I tried as hard as I could to pull on my pants, but it was no good because I needed to lift the bike off to unhook myself. Mike was right in the middle of filling with gas, so he ran over to help me, gas going over the top of his tank.
Of course there was a man behind me laughing, not even kind enough to conceal it, and asking me if I was ok. Another couple laughing and pointing at me and my white ass. I swear at that exact moment every car in Magna needed gas and had to get it from Tesoro.
Mike helped me, and I got on my bike and rode as fast as I could out of the parking lot.
When I got home I noticed more bruises, my foot swollen a little bit, and no pride what so ever left in me.
Thank god I had on my helmet so nobody could see my face, but I am sure they won't forget my ass.